Controlling Your Anger: 4 Steps to Stop Yelling at Your Kids {with Printable}

by | Jul 29, 2016 | Gentle Parenting, Motherhood

Hello my loving parents,

Do you ever have those days where it feels like your loving little child is just being a real ___________(feel free to use whatever word you’d like in the blank)? Yea, me too. We blew through the “terrible twos” with no problems. Ava had some times where she cried but we were always able to work through them together and move on with a positive attitude. I felt that I was blessed and that my peaceful parenting techniques were like a magical cheat sheet to help me get through those horrible tantrums. However, the threes are a completely different story, one that I was never warned about.

It’s unfortunate because I never really prepared myself for what was happening, and when we are not prepared, often our anger gets the best of us. I started getting into a bad habit of raising my voice and at times possibly even yelling in frustration. And what happens after I step off my high and mighty horse? Not only do I feel like a failure with a horribly guilty feeling, but I have also put fear into the heart of my little girl, the one being I love more than anything on Earth.

Controlling your Anger: 4 steps to stop yelling

Stepping back and taking real action on this mess up was something that I had to do for myself and my little girl. Saying sorry over and over again wasn’t going to cut it, because if I didn’t have a plan to change my own behavior then those were just empty apologies.

So the next time there is a situation between you and your child, I hope that you too can follow the 4 quick steps to help you from yelling. I have also created a small printable for you to print and keep in times of need, just remember, you are always going to be a wonderful parent and there will be times when your frustration gets the best of you…but by creating these 4 steps as a habit I hope that it helps to decrease the amount of times you do end up yelling.

Controlling your Anger: 4 steps to stop yelling

Controlling Your Anger:

4 Steps to Stop Yelling at Your Kids

Close Your Eyes & Take a Deep Breath :

Your child is not listening to you or has just begun a screaming tantrum and you’re frustrated, very much frustrated.

  • Close your eyes and escape from the chaos for a second or two. Take a very deep breath and hold it while counting down from 4. (Try doing this out loud so your child starts to understand what you are doing, it might snap them out of their fit even)
  • In this time think about this “You have the choice to be the parent you want to be in this situation. Calm yourself down.” Try to release any muscle tension you may have.

Walk Away for a few minutes :

You need a minute to yourself…that’s okay!

  • If it’s something really big and you just can’t calm yourself down after a deep breath express yourself to your child such as “I am feeling (frustrated, upset, sad, confused) right now. Please give me a few minutes to calm down and we can handle this in a minute“, and walk away if you are in a place to do so (like your home).
  • Obviously this is not plausible in a store or park….maybe have them sit in the car while you catch your breath on the outside if you really need to. Return once you have calmed down.

Get down on their level & ask for a hug :

You have now calmed yourself down, it is time to calm your little one down as well.

  • When Ava is upset and I ask for a hug 8 times out of 10 she will say yes. Letting your little one know that they are loved during this hard time is a great way to help calm them down. This also really helps to calm me down even more, being snuggled up to her really helps me to remember how amazing she is and how I can control my emotions.
  • If your child refuses to give you a hug and continues to cry or show anger, ask for some other form of contact. “High five? Low Five? Wiggly Five?” Keep making up sillier and sillier forms until they give in. This helps to relax the mood and calm you both down.

Talk it Out :

Ask questions and get to the root of the problem.

  • You need to express yourself and say what you are feeling and why you are feeling that way.
  • You also need to ask them what they are feeling, why they are feeling that way & work out a way you can both fix the problem.
  • Think of alternatives if the answer they want is not the answer you want…make sure you include them to think of alternatives as well. This is a huge help for future tantrums and can help them solve their own problems or develop better communication later on.

Enlighten Yourself

"Those who are free of resentful thoughts surely find peace."


Hi I'm Ashleigh & I am on a mission to live a more peaceful harmonic lifestyle, whether it be through attachment parenting, plant based eating, up cycling or meditation. Come join me & start your path towards enlightenment & better living!

Read more about me here

Be sure to snap a photo & hashtag #omlivin of your family adventures! I would love to see your littles enjoying life!

These 4 steps have been a life saver for me and really have helped me to continue my peaceful parenting path. If we are able to continue these steps through out all the troubled times in our children’s lives they will start to understand how to be peaceful themselves when they feel frustrated. If they continue to see you close your eyes and take a deep breath, they too will start to develop that habit to see if it works for them. Start suggesting that step for them to do as well if you think they will try it.

Controlling our breath is a great way to control our minds and emotions. They might start coming up to you and asking for hugs and wanting to discuss ways to work out their problems, which is teaching them great communication skills. I truly hope that these steps work for you and your family, because peaceful parenting really is such a great way to raise your children into amazing and confident adults.

Quick note: If your child is hitting, check out this post on how to help stop the abuse!

Controlling your Anger: 4 steps to stop yelling

Question of the Day:

Are/Were you a yeller? What are some steps that help you to stop yelling? Let me know in the comments down below!

Be sure to come back on our next Family Friday for more articles pertaining to family lifestyle & an alternative way of raising children. Don’t forget you can always subscribe to receive weekly emails in your inbox! Comments are always welcomed as well as opinions on my social media pages,  | Instagram | Twitter | Google+. Please try to be open minded towards each other and remember we are all trying to do what’s best. We can only expand our knowledge to those who are willing to hear it. Be educated, be wise and be kind. Thanks for reading and be sure to snuggle extra long with your littles this weekend, they won’t be little for long. ॐ❤


Written By: Ashleigh Nicole

Written By: Ashleigh Nicole

Ashleigh is a mother & wife who enjoys blogging in hopes to change this world for the better. Wanting to heal others inside-out as well as healing our planet Earth. Her passions include balancing the mind through meditation, knowledge & conscious parenting, the body through plant based eating, alternative medicine, & yoga, and the soul through up cycling, gardening, & sustainability. Keep your life balanced & subscribe to her weekly emails, follow OmLivin’ on instagram, twitter, pinterest or check her out on Google+ for more.

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